Unspoken Rules

Dog parks are interesting places. We've been taking Ellie to the Roseville Dog Park for several months now. They have a small fenced area and then a larger area that's not completely fenced. She never goes very far from us, so we typically take her to the bigger area, but since we've been fostering Burke we've been sticking to the smaller fenced area since he doesn't respond to his name most of the time.

While there are usually other people at the larger park, the area is big enough that typically people don't just stand around together. In the smaller park, though, the human visitors tend to sit or stand around in a circle near the chairs and picnic table. We have noticed that the culture within this small area is unique. A good friend, Jehn, even compared her first visit to visiting a foreign country and trying to figure out the cultural norms.

Here are just a few of the unspoken rules for dog parks in which humans are confined to a small area:

1. Upon entering the park you must acknowledge each and every dog who comes up to you. Use a cheerful voice and tell each of them how cute they are. Even if they're not.

2. Once you stake your claim to a space (sitting or standing) you must remember NOT to talk to the other humans visiting the park. Do not acknowledge them by saying hello. You may speak to the dogs however. In fact, it is quite acceptable to ask any dog a question and expect a response from the dog's human friend. For example, if you want to know what breed a certain dog is you would say "what kind are you?" If a human doesn't answer simply repeat the question in a louder voice until someone answers. The answer will come from the human who will attempt to imitate the dog's voice "I'm a golden retriever," (imagine this being said with the voice of Goofy) for example.

2a. If you MUST talk to other humans at the park, make sure you only talk about the dogs or the weather. Avoid making conversation about anything else at all costs.

3. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT look at other humans. Your eyes should be kept on the dogs or at some point in the distance at all times.

4. If you attempt to go to the dog park during small dog hours your dog MUST be at least 15 pounds under the 35-pound maximum. If you attempt to take your 30 pound dog into the park during the small dog hours you will be asked to leave by the fanatical human owners of 5-pound dogs.

5. Dote on the dogs constantly. This can include petting them or saying "good puppy!" Whenever you talk to the dogs you should use a baby voice. This is the only acceptable way to speak to any canine friend while within the park boundaries.

6. You should always laugh at the dogs. Even if they're just laying there. Laugh your head off. This will not only alleviate the weird silence that seems to hang over the group of humans, but it will also make the dogs even more hyper, thus wearing them out faster.

7. When your dog is sufficiently worn out, ask the dog if he/she is ready to leave. This can be done by asking "are you all tuckered out?" or "ready to go?" When the dog indicates that he/she is indeed ready to leave, guide the dog to the gate, leash him/her and leave. DO NOT say goodbye to the other humans. If you feel awkward leaving without saying goodbye, address your goodbyes to the other dogs.

Following these simple rules should make your visit to a small-space dog park more comfortable. We, on the other hand, are hoping our next foster dog knows his/her name better, and we are able to skip the smaller dog park altogether. :)