This year, all I want for Christmas is a new butt.
Or a pair of jeans that fit the nonexistent one I seem to have.
I have never been very picky about the fit of jeans. I would just go to the store, search forever to find the right color of jeans, buy them based on color, and head home a happy girl. But over the past few years I have lost a bit of weight. I still have a ways to go, but I've lost 75% of the weight I want to lose. I'm wearing smaller sizes in everything, but I'm down 5 full sizes in pants. Which is great. The problem is that I have lost more from my butt than I have from my waist. So now, when I shop for jeans it's not just looking for the right color but for the right fit for a butt that isn't big enough for my waist, I guess.
Regular women's jeans in my new size all have the woefully unattractive saggy butt. I tried juniors, but hello, they are all ultra low rise these days which does nothing for an almost 32-year-old woman with a stomach that needs to catch up in the weight-loss race . I tried men's jeans, and while the butt fits great, the legs are way too wide.
So now I'm on the hunt for the perfect jeans. Or a new butt. Or a smaller waist that is proportionate to my butt.
Is that too much to ask, Santa?