When I grow up I want to be...

I read a friend’s blog today and she said “I always thought being a grown-up would be way more fun than this!” At first I was tempted to agree, but the more I think about it the more I’m thinking I disagree with her.

We spend our childhoods looking forward to our teenage years and beyond. We wonder what it would be like to date, to drive, to go to work every day. Mom and dad do it, so it must be really, really great! We set our aspirations high – we want to be firefighters, princesses, doctors, and lawyers. We’re going to do it all, be it all…we’re going to save the world.

We spend our teenage years wishing we could be out on our own, going to college, having our independence, and, once again, working at a “real” job.

We go to college and start counting down the days until graduation, start looking for that special someone, think about how fun it would be to have kids, and continue dreaming of that all-important job.

Then it all starts happening. The job, the special someone, the kids. And all of a sudden we start wishing we could be back in college again – less responsibility, back in high school – more fun, back in childhood – bills? What bills? We realize we most likely won’t be a princess and that we probably won’t save the world (at least not on the global level we once thought we might). And then, it all seems like so much. This is what we looked forward to for all of those years?

I suppose it is all part of the human condition. We yearn for what we don’t/can’t have and reminisce about the times when all we wanted was what we have now.

Happiness has to be found in every day life. It just has to. No looking to tomorrow for it. Every day wasted waiting for that great job, that raise, that ‘perfect’ age of us or our children, that new house, new car, etc. is a day spent wishing for a happiness that can only be found today.

This is not to say that I’m miserable. I have a good life. I have a spectacular partner whom I love very much. I have great friends whom I know I can turn to for anything. I have a loving family, and a good job working with really terrific people. I have a roof over my head and a car in the drive. I just don’t think I appreciate it as much as I should.

I did used to think that adulthood would be fun…and the more I think about it, I realize it is fun! It’s just a different kind of fun than what I pictured when I was 8 or 18.

So – I’m not going to make some big resolution like “today I will start being happy every day and loving my life for what it is right now,” but I will say “today I will try to start being happier every day and trying to love my life for what it is right now.”