12 Days and Counting!

Wedding planning is in full swing. Posts over the next several weeks could be spotty, but I promise to do a great big final wrap-up post after this craziness is all over. Kristin and I have both commented that we don’t remember what we thought about, dreamt about, talked about, or focused on before all of this wedding stuff. I will forever pity any person planning a wedding. Honestly. Even when all the “big” stuff is taken care of there are still millions of decisions to make and things to do (and I used to think wedding planners were useless!).

Don’t get me wrong – we are enjoying every second of all of this, it’s just that sometimes things get a little overwhelming and, unfortunately, the people around us have to pay the price of our short tempers! :)

This has been great, though. It’s been so much fun to plan all of this with Kristin, and I think it’s brought us even closer and has definitely made me love her so much more.

A shout out and a thank you to all of those out there (and there are MANY) who have put in countless hours helping us with different aspects of the planning and to those who listen sympathetically to our rants and cheer along with us at our successes on this journey!

Moe Family Vacation

We just got back from 5 fun-filled days in San Diego with Kristin's family. It was nice to spend some time with them and meet some extended family I hadn't met before. There was talk of making heading out west a yearly trip - I hope that's the case because it was so much fun!! Thanks to Roger and Helen for the trip and to Ginny and John for sharing their beach house with 12 fools :)

Pics are here.

People We Knew at Apartment 201

We’ve found a new place to live! While we are thrilled to be leaving Como Park Apartments (pictured above), we will miss all of the cultural diversity we found during the three years we’ve inhabited apartment 201. Somehow I just don’t think we’re going to find such diversity when we move across town to a different complex and inhabit apartment 116.

A small bit about some of the interesting characters we’ve met during our stay here:

Earl (Greg) – Earl was one of the first people we met here. We named him Earl because Kristin always told him he was going to end up dead in a trunk someday (Dixie Chicks song). He was probably in his 40s and lived down in 103 with his girlfriend and her daughter. He was always good for a laugh and was one of the few people I knew that could keep up with Kristin’s wit. He always had interesting family over – like his cousin Larry who ended up getting sent to prison for violating a restraining order. We loved Larry and missed him while he was away. Earl also had a friend or a nephew that stopped over often. He always had his hair pick ready to go – stuck in the top of his afro. His niece stayed with him a lot too. She would often get home from work to find no one home. She would just have to hang out outside and wait. More than once we helped her break into his apartment and climb through the front window which was always a feat because she was of a sizable stature. Earl worked a variety of odd jobs, one of which was a tow truck driver. He always told us to just give him a call if we ever needed a tow truck. Even though there was some heavy drug usage going on in their apartment, we always felt safe with him and knew that if we were ever in trouble he would have done anything to protect us. Needless to say, we were both really, really sad when Earl and his clan moved to Richfield.

Old Man – Old Man’s real name was John Jones. He was a white man with a great big white afro. His hair didn’t look so bad when he cut it, but that wasn’t often. He worked for Comcast and was always complaining about people at work. He also used to clean our apartment building and complained incessantly about the management. He had three kids that visited on the weekends. His ex-wife was crazy, but I guess you’d have to be to have been married to Old Man. Old Man was a little freaky…if we were outside he would talk to our boobs. If we were inside he would stand below the window and stare up at us. Shortly before he moved he commented that he would miss being able to watch all the hotties in the pool. Gross. I always said if I mysteriously disappeared the police should question Creepy Man at the convenience store near where I work first and Old Man second. We were somewhat relieved when he finally moved out.

Gay Girls – There were two lesbians that lived on the third floor. We didn’t actually talk to them for about a year…just before they moved out, unfortunately. :(

Weird guy in the next building – So this guy was interesting. He has lived here for like 15 years and caught us in the parking lot one night. He had lots of questions about if we liked living here and such. He drives a pretty beat up car that looks like it could lose its last bolt at any minute.

Laundry Lady – So there’s a lady that lives in the next building over. She has kind of taken over a little patch of lawn just outside of her window. She has hung bird feeders and hanging potted plants from the tree and set up a patio set on the lawn. One day when I was driving home I passed, and she had hung up a string between two trees and was happily watching as her undies and other unmentionables blew in the breeze. WEIRD.

Restaurant Guy – This guy worked at Macaroni Grill and would talk to us about how much he hated the guy that sang on the weekends there.

Gay Guys – These guys live in the next building over. Their living room and kitchen are painted in vibrant lime greens and not-quite-fire-engine reds. Over Pride they had lots of friends staying there and just last night we noticed a motherly-looking woman packing things up – we can only hope they are escaping as we are.

Lady Lady – I had the privilege of watching Lady Lady head off to the hospital when she was in labor. Her husband couldn’t get the new baby seat in the back seat and he was getting frustrated until Lady Lady pointed out the baby wasn’t actually BORN yet and the seat probably didn’t need to be secured in the back seat at that exact moment. She came back a few days later with a cute little baby girl in hand. A month or two after that she appeared with a small dog named Lady. They only stayed here for a month or two after that – dogs weren’t allowed, but I’m not sure that had anything to do with the move. Her husband drove a white car that had lights that blinked all day and night. Must have been some sort of theft prevention thing, but I just found it annoying.

Hate Man – Hate man lives in the building next door. He got his name because he had this big hand-written sign hanging on his wall that said “HATE.” He’s a small, pale guy. I blame that on the fact that he’s always on his computer into the wee hours of the night. One night I got home really late and he had a lady-friend over. I wanted to shout up some “CLOSE YOUR WINDOWS!” advice, but decided I would just ignore it. Hate Man also has a freaky looking white cat. He loves to play with this big saber-like sword at night and has even been known to throw knives at a target on the wall. He’s someone I wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley.

Weird Guy Downstairs – WGD has lived below us ever since we moved in. His windows are always closed, his A/C is always on (even in the middle of winter), and he has heavy curtains that are always drawn. He is a sizable man and works overnights at a gas station not too far away. There are two names on the buzzer list, but we have never seen the other mystery person…apartment always cold, mystery person. I think we may have a dead body on our hands!

The Missing Indian Family – This family lived in 202 and had a cute little baby. At one point they just disappeared. We thought they must have moved out in the night or something but noticed the crib was still visible in a window. After about six weeks they were back. My vote is that they were on an extended trip to India. Kristin’s not so sure. Anyway, so they were right next door but we never heard a peep out of them...so we were sad when they moved on.

Hispanic Family – This family lives down the hall from us. Some of the friendliest and nicest people here – they always have a smile on their faces!

Man Nurses – These two African guys with awesome accents moved in down the hall for awhile. They were nurses on a mental health floor at one of the hospitals. They told us about how they used to live in the building next door but that the trains would pass and shake their apartment so they moved to our building. They weren’t here for very long before they disappeared. Not sure what that was all about, but we were sad we didn’t get to say goodbye.

Deaf Guys – These guys live on the third floor in the building next door. Never seen them, only know about them because of the grunting noises that come from their apartment windows and because the Man Nurses told us about them.

Beth – Beth was known as the “Gay Girl” for awhile…then we talked to her one day and she turned out to be great! She taught Special Education at a local school and would crawl out of her 1^st floor window rather than go around to the front door to smoke. She moved this spring after getting a strange letter from the management here, and we miss her.

Guitar Guy and Daughter – This guy is probably the most “normal” of all the people we’ve met here. He has a day job (not sure what that is) and plays in a band on the weekends. He has a fabulous daughter who just finished 4^th grade. When we had a computer we needed to get rid of we gave it to them. Not sure what happened to the mom, but he is an awesome dad!

210 – Ah, 210. They were the local….how shall I say it…street pharmacists. I’m not sure we ever met them in person, but everyone here knew about them. People were coming and going all the time to their apartment. There was a man who came several times a week – would buzz in and then be back out with his sack of goodies in less than a minute. There was also a woman who always had shorts on with thick nylons/tights on underneath. She was always nice and talkative but also usually in a hurry to make it to 210s door. One time three men who told Kristin they were FBI agents were here to talk to 210. Somehow 210 escaped before the FBI dudes could get to them. I’m not so sure the FBI guys were really FBI guys…maybe hit men from a drug deal gone bad? Anyway, one day when we were headed down to the laundry room we noticed their door was open a crack. A week later it was still open a crack. I’m convinced they were either killed in there and it was covered up by management or they went on the run from the…”FBI guys.”

College Co-eds – Our current next-door neighbors. They are bleach blonde and extremely noisy. Why did the Indian family have to move?

Twins and Dad – Not so sure the two guys are actually twins, but they are brothers and look like each other. They go work out every evening wearing their workout shorts and weightlifting gloves. One of them just shaved his head…not sure what he was thinking. Their dad used to live here with them, but we haven’t seen him in ages…maybe HE’S in the trunk…Earl?!?

Pete – While Pete doesn’t actually live here, he deserves his own mention. He was the manager here for quite awhile. He told us all about his silver and purple bedroom and how much he loves to pick paint colors…which is good, I suppose, because we recently learned he moved on to a new apartment complex undergoing renovations in the Lake Calhoun area.

Singing Loud Lady – There used to be a couple that lived above us that were really annoying. They would stomp around at all hours. One time we took a broom and pounded back. They just pounded harder. She was a singer in a band or something and more than once she broke out into song outside. I always wanted to tell her to shut up but Kristin would always remind me to be nice.

Mormon Couple – These people currently live above us. I’m generalizing by calling them the Mormon Couple, but it’s what I know so it’s what I go with. They just have that pious, religious feel to them. And they’re quiet…not that being quiet has anything to do with being Mormon, but you know what I mean.

Speed Racer – The first time I ever saw Speed Racer was when he came whipping into the parking lot, revved up his engine, and peeled into a spot in one fail swoop. I was amazed and thought “wow, that person must be in a hurry!” But no. He sauntered out of his car and up to the door. Over time we came to realize he just like peeling into the parking lot with his souped-up Dodge Neon.

Pimp – Pimp drives a nice cream-colored Mercedes. He’s still a mystery to us. Not sure why he’s living in a place like this if he can afford a car like that. Maybe he lives in a place like this so he can afford a car like that.

And that’s that! Exciting times here at Como Park Apartments! As I’ve been typing this I’ve realized we sound like freaks…like we’re out there poking our head in people’s windows and watching every move they make. Let me just say that we’re not like that at all…it’s just after living in a place for three years you get to know the people around you and their routines. They probably all have names for us (mine might be computer girl, for example, because our computer desk is right by the living room window that faces the parking lot and I’m on it a lot in the evenings).

I’m looking forward to moving to a building chuck full of old people…maybe a little less drama with the older crowd. But I will miss the cultural mix of people we’ve grown to love, hate, fear, and cherish here! :)

It's Official...

Tonight, since we had a bit of spare time on our hands, we went to Wells Fargo and got a joint checking account! SCARY!

I currently use TCF and Kristin uses Wells Fargo. We've been talking about getting a joint account for awhile and decided to go with Wells Fargo since I've had several issues with TCF and their ever-changing weird fee policies over the past few years - honestly. If you ever are thinking of signing up with them talk to me first!

So we went to the bank and sat down with Eric. Nice fellow. He had us rocking with a joint account in no time. He was even kind enough to direct me to their drinking fountain that was so close to the floor I couldn't even get to the water by bending over...I would have had to kneel on the floor to drink out of it (I decided quenching my thirst wasn't worth that humiliation).

Anyway, so we got the new account set up and new checks ordered - even made a nice deposit in it thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Moe.

Just one thing left to say - Sorry, Kristin...no going back now!

Pride

Pride was this weekend, and we were fairly busy this year.

Saturday we went to the park for awhile and then volunteered at the Service Members Legal Defense Network booth. We were gathering signatures to submit to Congress asking them to repeal the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy for the Armed Services. We heard some amazing stories from people who had tried to sign up as an openly gay person and from those that had been kicked out because it was discovered they were gay. Some people’s comments really surprised me…like those that said they agreed with the policy or one woman who told me she didn’t think the government really kicked people out for being gay. The truth is that the Pentagon fires two people EVERY DAY just for being gay. And then they turn around and complain that they don't have enough people to fight all of the silly wars that George W. gets us into. Go figure. Most people got that and signed gladly, which was nice.

Saturday night we went on the Dyke March. This was something that I had to talk Kristin into. She said she had been before and while it was fun, it felt a little “dangerous,” and it wasn’t something she really wanted to do again. I, however, had never done it, and really wanted to participate, so we did.

We parked near where the March usually ended and caught a cab back to the Walker where it was to begin. There was an amazing energy there with people of all ages and backgrounds gathering together in a common cause. We left the Walker and turned left on Hennepin, headed downtown. It was then that we realized they had changed the route and we were parked in the opposite direction! Oops.

I can’t even begin to tell you what an amazing experience it was. Honestly. Kristin was a little freaked out in the beginning, but once we got downtown where it was well-lit, she was fine. Somehow, we ended up being right at the front of the 2-block-plus entourage, and it was great to march past all of the downtown bars and restaurants and see the looks on people’s faces as they tried to figure out what was going on. The only weird part was when some random girl somehow got the megaphone and was telling her story and singing hymns…but once the organizers got it back it went back to being an amazing experience.

At the end of the walk we decided just to walk the 1.5 miles to the car. It didn’t take too long, and it was a nice time to just reflect on the march and what it stood for. I think too often we forget that Pride isn’t just about having a good time. It’s about being proud of who you are and standing up for the rights that every human being deserves. Granted, marching around downtown yelling out silly slogans isn’t necessarily going to change anything, but to see the looks on people’s faces, to make ourselves visible, and to feel the power of the group all are small steps to creating the change.

Sunday we met some friends for breakfast at Hell’s Kitchen in downtown Minneapolis. I had heard rave reviews about it, but it didn’t really meet my expectations. It was nice to see everyone and spend time with them, but the food was subpar to other places I’ve been.

After breakfast we went to the parade which was fun, as always. Two things I would like to point out. The first was Amy Klobuchar. The reception she received was amazing. Honestly, you would have thought she was a celebrity. It’s nice to see that people are paying attention to what our leaders are doing in Washington and praising them for a job well done when it is deserved.The second was the PFLAG group. Every year they receive a standing ovation as they pass, and every year I get teary-eyed. To me, the people that participate in that are some of the most amazing and spectacular people on earth. They are an example of the ultimate acceptance. Not only do they enthusiastically support their GLBT sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, and friends, but they are not afraid to show that support by marching in the Pride Parade. This year I caught the eye of one mother who was holding a sign that said something to the effect of “I love my lesbian daughter.” It gave me the chills to see family members who are so willing and able to march in support of who their loved ones truly are. The woman held my gaze – giving me a knowing smile and a nod as she passed. Standing and clapping for them seems such an understated way to express the feelings that we all feel towards those people…but hopefully they all know how much we appreciate them.

The parade is always a good time with an interesting mix of people participating, but this year it seemed especially poignant for me…even with the crazy sunburn I got during it!

Sunday night we were able to go to the Indigo Girls concert. I had never seen them in concert, so I was excited for that. It was held at the Minnesota State Zoo which provided a perfect background for such a great concert. Brandi Carlisle opened for them. Kristin and I both really liked her music, and I downloaded all of her music from iTunes as soon as we got home.

Laying in bed Sunday night, exhausted from the busy weekend and unable to move because of my sunburn, I reflected on the weekend – it was amazing in so many ways.

Most years I find that I’m really excited for it but once it rolls around I find myself disappointed. Not that it’s not a good time, I just usually feel that it doesn’t meet my expectations. This year I found myself not looking forward to it as much as in the past. Maybe that was because of the previous years of disappointment. I was pleasantly surprised, this year, however to find that I was sad when the weekend came to a close, and I'm already looking forward to next year – to volunteering, to marching, and to watching!

Pride Pics

I owe ya'll a new blog post, I know. And I will post about the big weekend soon, but in the mean time, hopefully these pics will tide you over!

Wedding Shower

Last weekend a coworker of mine threw us a shower. While it definitely put me out of my comfort zone, it was a good time and we appreciated everyone that was there. A special thanks to Anna and Lindsey for hosting the event :)

Here are some photo highlights...

Me and Kristin

Anna - the hostess!

Molly and Kari

Kristin and me opening gifts

The beautiful cake -
"Two hearts that share one love, one life, will always know true joy"

Kristin and me again

Marilee, Kent, Tammy, Jamie, Lisa, Sarah, and Cassi

Lisa, Sarah, Cassi, Amy, and Kelly

Lou and Brenda

Flowers...

Today I had the day off because I’m officially “transitioning” into a new position at work. There is much to be said about that, but I’ll save that for another day.

We took advantage of the fact that I didn’t have to work and Kristin could get away since school is out, and we went to pick out our flowers for the wedding.

First of all, a little history. We had decided awhile ago to do our own flowers. Heather, a bridesmaid, had experience and had offered to help, and it didn’t really look too difficult. Then we started looking for a place to get the flowers. We had a tough time finding an affordable place to buy roses. We talked more about it and realized we wouldn’t really be able to make the bouquets until the day before the wedding. We decided that the extra price it would cost to have them done for us would be worth the time and stress it would save us. So we started researching florists online.

We came across a small floral shop in Saint Paul called Payne’s Floral. We called and set up an appointment.

We didn’t really plan ahead all that well as to how we were going to break the news to the head designer that there would be two brides and no grooms – big mistake.

As soon as we went in she asked “and who is the bride?” Kristin and I just looked at each other as if to say “who’s going to be the one this time?” before Kristin said “both of us.” Her face lit up and she asked “is this a double wedding?” Again, we glanced at each other for a moment before I said “yes!”

Oy vey. Why do I do these things? Immediately she started talking a million miles an hour about how she had never done a double wedding, and this was going to be soooo exciting with TWO brides!

I probably could have clarified a bit at that moment, explained that it wasn’t really a double wedding as she was thinking of it, and we could have gone on with the planning. But no. I just smiled and pretended that this was really the best moment of my life while Kristin sat down on her stool looking like she wanted to cut my tongue out.

And so the planning began. First, the designer asked us all about the colors and the dresses and the bridesmaids. She asked what we were thinking about for the flowers and I told her we wanted roses. Lots and lots of roses. We talked about colors and styles and looked at the various choices of greenery to accent the bouquets. We talked about the bridesmaid bouquets and how they would differ from the bridal ones.

And then we got to the grooms and groomsmen. At this point it was too late to correct the situation. The designer wanted to know if there would be four groomsmen. “Um, yeah,” Kristin mumbled. She talked about how she would make the boutonnières for them – the flowers she would use, etc. We just smiled and assured her that whatever she thought would look best would be fine by us.

She finished up, gave us a grand total, we paid our deposit, and then ran for the door.

Kristin was not happy with me. At all. She wanted to know why I had quickly said it was a double wedding. Why I hadn’t thought of a way to tell her? I hadn’t planned it out. And when faced with the moment of unplanned awkwardness, I folded.

This whole planning process has really been a test of our “outness” which, before this whole thing neither Kristin nor I were very good at. We have both commented at various times about the awkwardness of having to tell complete strangers that we’re gay. Neither of us are the type to flaunt our gayness to the entire world. I have always figured that straight people don’t go around saying “I’m straight! I’m straight! Look at me!” so why should I go around shouting the opposite?

I mean, come on, could you imagine going in to some random place – like a shoe store, for example – and saying “yes, I would like to try this shoe in a size 8 and by the way, I’m straight . . . you’re okay with that, right?” Then going to a restaurant and saying “I’m a heterosexual, will you still serve me?” Then heading to the movies and having to explain to the ticket salesman that you sleep with someone of the opposite sex and hoping that they will just give you your ticket without making a big deal out of it or denying you entry.

With every vendor we’ve dealt with we’ve had to face telling them about our personal lives and hoping they won’t judge us unfairly because of it. Some people will say “who cares what they think? Just tell them! If they don’t want to serve you it’ll be their loss!” Sometimes, unfortunately, it just isn’t that easy (possibly a subject of another post?).

Granted, some things have been easier than others – the DJ and the reception place were relatively painless, for example. It just kind of flowed into the conversation or emails to say, “oh, by the way, this is a lesbian wedding – just wanted to make sure you were okay with that.” Other things, like the dresses and the flowers have been a little more delicate and difficult.

But I ask – why does everyone have to know? Does it really matter if the floral designer knows that we will be marrying each other? She won’t be there, so why should we have to tell her? And of course, the answer is that we don’t.

I guess that just leaves one question:

Does anyone need six boutonnières on or around July 27?

Totally Amazing...

Invitations

Our wedding invitations have been a long journey in the making.

Robyn and Dejan graciously agreed to make them as a wedding gift to us. We poured over hundreds of sample ideas before we narrowed it down to a couple of layouts we liked. We spent hours considering paper choices then drove in the pouring rain to buy it. We wrote everything out that needed to go in them, scratched it all and then rewrote it. We looked at different fonts until I couldn't tell the difference between any of them. We spell checked and proofread it a million times.

Finally, we sent everything to Canada for the pros (or one pro and her semi-pro assistant, rather) to assemble the masterpieces.

We listened helplessly from afar to all of the drama that surrounded the creation of the invitations. We heard about the 100+ cuts each and every invitation took and about the bleeding fingers caused by the tiny brads. Kristin had nightmares about how the finished product might turn out (doilies and rusty paper clips).

And then, word came. They were done. We all celebrated as we waited for UPS to deliver the box to Minnesota.

When it appeared customs had intercepted it and was going to hold onto it for an undetermined amount of time, we all met in the land of IM to discuss exactly why that would happen (theories ranged from the fact that it said the big box only contained one invitation, to the fact that it was going from one business to another, to my theory that it was because I just received "Death of a President" via Netflix and I'm certain the Secret Service is watching me a bit closer).

As it turned out the package was not stopped by the Secret Service. UPS’s tracking system was just behind and the box was delivered on time.

And now we have them. They are more fabulous than I could have ever imagined. It’s all coming together…

And we couldn’t have done it without the unending help of the greatest two Canadians we know. Thank you!