Growing Up

So today I had a couple of those "omg I'm so old" moments.

The first came when my sister, Cassi, called to tell me a few things about a family I knew from Nephi, Utah, my hometown. I babysat for them years ago and taught their youngest son in church when he was 3. The "I'm so old" feeling came when she said he is now 10. 10?!? While 7 years may not sound like that long, it was just the last time I lived at home that I taught him...which only seems like a couple of years ago. Their oldest daughter (who I used to babysit) is now married. Gosh, I'm old.

The second one came when I called the local optometry place in Nephi. I order my contacts from them because if I order them from my eye doctor here I have to pay $100 for a contact lens appoitment and the contacts are expensive. If I order them from the place in Nephi I just have to send my current prescription and they ship me way cheaper contacts with no contact lens appointment. Anyway, so the people who own the optometry place were our neighbors growing up. The guy answers and I say "Hi Clint, it's Danette how are you?" At that moment I had this strange 'living in two worlds' feeling. It's strange talking to people you knew when you were young and calling them by their first name...and talking to them as an adult...It was a bizarre feeling for a moment...Talking to this man who had always been "Brother so and so" (all adults are called brothers and sisters in the Mormon Church) who was now Clint...a man who I am now somewhat equal to. Bizarre.

Mormon Church Doctrine

I will try to write more about this later - but for now, I had to post this.  This is taken from the Doctrine and Covenants, a book of scripture used/taught/followed (supposedly) by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Doctrine & Covenants 134:4

We believe that religion is institued of God; and that men are amenable to him, and to him only, for the exercise of it, unless their religious opions prompt them to infringe upon the rights and liberties of others; but we do not believe that human law has a right to interfere in prescribing rules of worship to bind the consciences of men, nor dictate forms for public or prive devotion; that the civil magistrate should restrain crim, but never control conscience; should punish guilt, but never suppress the freedom of the soul.

Prop 8

Proposition 8 is an issue that will be voted on in November in California. I wasn’t going to talk about it, but I am disturbed by the news I have been hearing about it lately.

Proposition 8 would basically turn over a decision made by the voter-elected judges of the California Supreme Court which ruled that according to the Constitution marriage is a basic human right to all people.

Why am I upset? A couple of reasons – both extremely personal for me.

The first is that I’m a lesbian. The decision that is made in November will affect my life. Yes, it’s in California and I’m not, but it could continue a precedent of ignorance and discrimination. As most gay people go, I’m fairly laid back about this issue. I don’t care if anyone calls what Kristin and I had last year a commitment ceremony, a union, or a marriage. I know what it was, and that is what is important to me.

I do care, however, that we don’t share any of the same rights that heterosexual couples share. I am just as committed to Kristin as any straight person is to his or her spouse. We were married (or committed or unionized or whatever) last year. We live together. I do the dishes, she scoops the cat poop. We sleep in on Sundays and write silly love notes to each other. Our paychecks are deposited into a shared account. We plan to buy a house, raise a family (which will include children, if we are so blessed), and grow old together. We have the same hopes and dreams for our lives and future as any straight couple has. We are just people. Just plain, ordinary people. This proposition is basically saying it doesn’t matter. Because I don’t fit into this certain mold, I am not worthy of being treated as an equal – and that disturbs me.

The second reason this is so disturbing to me is the Mormon Church and its active role in getting this proposition passed. I know they are not accepting of me and others like me. I have known that my whole life. What disturbs me is that they can use millions of members’ tithe dollars to support this, still be tax exempt (seriously?!?), and threaten members' memberships if they question the Church's involvement.

What is it about me that scares the Mormon Church? What is it about me that is so bad, wrong, and defiled that they feel they need to step in and defend an entire state from me?

The Church has always preached loving acceptance of your neighbor, but all that their support of this proposition does is show discrimination and hate. It flies in the face of everything I ever learned sitting within the hallowed walls of the building I worshipped in week after week growing up. They are preaching love and acceptance of those, and only those, who are willing to follow their rules and live by their laws.

I have thought, perhaps naively, that somehow the Church would change. That over time they would come to see and understand that homosexuals are not out to ruin families or destroy communities. But today I realized this change won’t be coming. I don’t think they will ever understand that I’m okay just the way I am and that I am a person worthy of all of the rights and privileges they enjoy.

One last thing I would add: How quickly they forget.

How quickly they forget about the persecution their ancestors endured a mere 150 years ago. How quickly they forget how early Mormons were driven out of their homes and denied their own basic rights. How quickly they forget that all those early members wanted was to be left in peace to live their lives in the way they saw fit. How quickly they have gone from being the persecuted to the persecutor.

I have done nothing to them. The marriage to my wife has absolutely no effect on the Church, its leaders, or its members. I am not here to recruit their children, break up their marriages, or ruin their economy. I am simply trying to be left in peace and to live my life in the way I see fit.

http://www.sltrib.com/ci_10662315

http://tinyurl.com/4zcpvb